That kind of fear is something I used to feel all the time as a kid–when a dog was chasing me down a country road; when I was losing my grip as I tried to get down from a tree up which I’d climbed too high; when I was on an amusement park ride with safety equipment too large to securely hold me in. That emotion brings distinct physiological reactions that are difficult to describe or mistake. As an adult, it’s a rare and familiar sensation that most of us try to avoid.

That moment came to mind yesterday when I was meeting with a customer outside of her house and she came face to face with an unwelcome visitor, who happened to be the very reason I was at her home in the first place. Though I’m not always great at recognizing emotions, I could see that this visitor was invoking in her what the bad driver had from me. She did her best to conceal the fear, to hold it together until she was safely inside her house with the door shut behind her and the visitor on the other side of it. Then it became more obvious.

I wondered for a moment if a hug was in order. I’m not a hugger by nature, but I know that some people appreciate hugs in these situations. But too much bad might have come from that. My attempt at comforting her might have been met with one of those awkward one-shoulder hugs that women sometimes give. Like bad handshakes, they feel to me like insults and they linger unpleasantly in my mind. Worse yet, a misplaced hug could have led to a very damaging Yelp review. Instead I began to ask her about her locks.

I’m a locksmith because I like fixing problems. I’d fix every problem if I could. Not knowing the backstory in this situation, the most I could do was the job that I was called there for. I hope the other issues resolved themselves. It doesn’t feel good to be afraid.